LotR humors Opcijas

[Goldberry]

Diemzheel nav mani domu graudi.... un arii tulkot praats nenesas tomer luugtum

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians.
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
21. Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago.
22. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
23. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
24. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
25. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
26. When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"
27. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!"

Naakosho filmu gaidot

[Overlord]

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http://www.geocities.com/sotto-voce/caribou.html

[NovemberNövelet]

Zinat kāpēc Gandalfs novēlās no šaurā tiltiņa bez margām?


Jo Balrogs šo drusku apstulbināja ar textu tādā dobjā svelpjošā balstiņā

"GANDALF, I AM YOUR FATHER" (fonā skan "ššššš---phhhhhh" )

Gendalfs tikai tā izmisīgi "No! NO!!!"       

Tu par daudz meksikaanju seriaalus saskatiijies..

[FiKi]

Nu, vēl jau var nostāties durvīs (teiksim veikala) un kliegt "you shall not pass!"

Un ja jau flash, tad šitā man pašam baigi patīk (1 daļa ar/i, bet ne tik laba)

Tekstā labs ir arī Stupid Ring Visas 3 grāmatas smuki nostrādātas, katra nodaļa!

[Roviela]

Zinat kāpēc Gandalfs novēlās no šaurā tiltiņa bez margām?
Jo Balrogs šo drusku apstulbināja ar textu tādā dobjā svelpjošā balstiņā
"GANDALF, I AM YOUR FATHER" (fonā skan "ššššš---phhhhhh" )
Gendalfs tikai tā izmisīgi "No! NO!!!"       

Tu par daudz meksikaanju seriaalus saskatiijies..

Tas nav no meksikāņu seriāla Vecs, labs, klasisks mājiens uz Star Wars!

[Matrikss]

Es varu pateikt kā GP varoņu vārdi ir pārveidoti ''Gredzena caurumā'' (parodiju grāmata par GP)

Gendalfs- Gudgalfs
Frodo-Frito

Ai citus uzrakstīšu citreiz. Negribas meklēt

[giraffe]

Iesaku ieskatiities sheit! Visaadas smiekliigas bildiites un pastaastinji.

[Grims]

Bilbo ir kļuvis par Dildo...
Bet goblinam sanāca labāk, Aragorn->Agronom, Frodo->Fjodor Mihailovič, Sems->Seņa utt.

[Kedriks]

Ui, šitādu joki ir DAUDZ!

Viens no labākajiem (šķiet bija arī jau LFFB lapā publicēts, īsti neatceros)

Nu sadomājuši Vinnijs Pūks un draugi uzraut vienu tematisko larp-u. Šie tagad sataisās kā nu kurais - Pūks - Aragorns, Trusītis - Gendalfs, Pūce - Galadriēla u.tt. Vienīgi Sivēntiņš nevar izdomāt, dīdās apkārt Pūkam un prasa - Vinnij, Vinnij! Es gribu būt kāds rūķis vai elfs! Pūks (nikni) - domā, cūka, ātrāk, citādi tevi par nazgulu pataisīsim un visi ar kinžāliem pēcpusē bakstīsim!

Nu kaut kā tā....

Joks, protams, sākotnēji bija krievu valodā un skanēja ar atbilstoši...

[Silmarien]

Vakar atradu vienā vietā interesantu frāzi, kā apzīmējumu humorīgu GP krievu valod'. Krieviski jau GP saucas "Властелин колец", bet te bija jauna versija - Пластилин овец

[beruthiel]

jā! kulichki.ru ir anekdošu bumba!
re, dažus pārtulkoju:

~Raksts avīzē "Darina Balss": vakar Morijā bija atklāts balrogu avots. kā saka speciālisti, tā pietiks 30-40 Gendalfu pārkrāsošanai.

~Ciemos pie Frodo Gendalfs stāsta, cik briesmīgs ir Gredzens. Lai pārliecinātu Frodo savos vārdos, viņš paņem un uzvelk Gredzenu. Nekas nenotiek. Gendalfs dziļi aizvainots, saka:"Aizej un izmet šo gredzenu, lai sadeg!" Nu kurš tad ir vainīgs, ka Frodo ir tik apzinīgs pienākumu pildītājs...

~Elrond jautā Gendalfam:"Klau, pēlēkais. Jūsu visumā pieci bija. Tu-šeit, Sarumans savā tornī, Radagasts kaut kur mežā čapo. Kur pārējie?"
Gendalfs:"Tu par tiem zilajiem? Nu slepjas kaut kur divatā. Pret-ī-gi!"

~Gendalfs:"Es tev teicu, lai tu labotu savu hobitu akcentu! Šī lieta saucas Pa-lan-tīrs!"
Pīns:"Un kā es saku?"
Gendalfs:"Bet tu saki Pentiums"

~Bet vai jūs zinājāt, ka vienreiz Aragorns palūdza Gendalfam, lai viņš palīdzētu viņam precēties ar Arvenu? Gendalfs aizgāja pie Elronda, bet tas atbild:"Drīzāk nožēlojams hobits uzsvarēs Mordoru, nekā es atdošu meitu kādam klaidonim!" Gendalfs apvainojās...un aizgāja ciemos pie Bilbo. Tikai pēc tam sāka par Gredzenu stāstus stāstīt.

~Gendalf! Tu kļuvi Baltais!
atbilžu varianti:
--"Jā, man šodien ir prēcības. Laipni lūdzu!"
--"Mjaa...Tikko es biju Baltais, bet jūs mani tik nobiedējāt, ka tagad es esmu Gendalfs Baltais ar Dzelteno Traipu"
--"Es jums parādīju labu piemēru! Aragorn, nu tad kā būs ar skuvēšanu?"

~Gendalfs atrada Morijas vārtus vaļā. Un tikai pēc atstātā tur uzraksta viņš varēja kaut ko saprast:"Cracked by Bilbo"

~Faramirs saka Frodo:"Viņš teica:"Elfi mani sauc par Mitrandīru, ziemeļos esmu Gendalfs, rietumos - Olorins, Esgarotā - Pēlēkais Āzis, bet Mordorā esmu vienkārši Boss.""

~"Gendalf! Tevi apsūdzē Frodo nāvē".
"Bet es jums taču teicu! Es sēdēju, griezu kartupeļus, Frodo garām gāja, paklupa un nokrita man uz naža."
"Nokrita 17 reizes?!"

~2001 - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring.
2002 - Lord of the Rings: Two Towers.
2003 - Lord of the Rings: Return of the Jedi.

~Pēc filmas noskatīšanas:"Visskaistākā sieviete GP bija Frodo" - "Kāpēc?! Legolass arī ta nekas..."

~"Ar tevi būs mans zobens"-Aragorns
"Un mans loks"-Legolass
"Un mans cirvis"-Gimlijs
"Nu i stiepj šo visu uz Mordoru!"-teica Boromirs nolikdams savu vairogu citu ieroču kaudzē, zem kuras gandrīz neredzams līgojās Frodo.

[Silmarien]

Beruthiel, tu esi "zvērs"! Man kādreiz arī uznāk iedvesma un tad es patulkoju kādas anekdotes, bet pagaid';am man laika tam nav... Labs tulkojums, by the way...

[beruthiel]

paldies, Silmarien
uz tulku taču mācos

[Silmarien]

Atradu ultimatīvo saiti www.lotrhumorzone.tk

Top Ten LotR-related behavior changes:

10. You have a giant spider for a pet.
9. You introduce your friends like this: Fred, son of Thomas.
8. You refer to your magic 8-ball as your palantir, and make all major
life decisions with it.
7. When saying people's names, you do it in a long, drawn out whisper.
6. You absolutely will not throw rocks into water.
5. You start carrying a sword and find yourself always cleaning it.
4. You become overly protective of small, curly-haired kids.
3. You don't go to work on September 22 or March 25 and tell your boss that they are national holidays.
2. You precede your friends' names with Master or Mister, regardless of gender.
1. You drink by the pint.
Top Ten Ways to turn a date offer down:

10. Not for all the tobacco in the Shire.
9. Only if you refer to me as 'my precious'.
8. Not until I consult my palantir.
7. Sorry, I only date elves and you, my friend, are no elf.
6. I giant, fiery eye would have more of a personality than you.
5. Not even if a group of angry Ents came knocking down my house.
4. Sorry, I don't date Dwarves.
3. I would rather go over the pass of Caradhras blindfolded with nine Nazgul chasing me.
2. I refuse to cross-breed with an Uruk-Hai; can you imagine what the children would look like?
1. Are you willing to give me the One Ring? (that should scare most men off)
Top 10 reasons you know you're obsessed when your expressions have expanded to:

10. Calling everything 'my precious' or you find yourself saying 'gollum, gollum'.
9. Saying it's not missing it's just 'Fallen into the Shadow'.
8. 'Go to Mordor' becomes your substitute for Go to Hell.
7. When somebody tries to help you, you find yourself saying "Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
6. You have asked anyone that had something extraordinarily beautiful "Is that elven-made?"
5. You base your decisions on which direction to take by saying "The air is not so foul down here."
4. You justify taking things from others that you want by saying "You cannot wield it!"
3. To convince someone to do something for you, you whine "You owe me your allegiance!"
2. You say "Fool of a Took!" to stupid people.
1. You enjoy walking along a lake or beach and scaring small children by grabbing them and intensely declaring "Do Not Disturb the Water!"

[beruthiel]

vai... es tiešām saku "Fool of a Took" gadījumos, kad kāds izdarījis kaut ko neprātīgu...

am I really obssessed? :blink: nay! nay in the name of Gondor!

[Silmarien]

Tā kā es zinu, ka pa netu klejo dažādas LOTr tēmai veltītas smiek;igas listes (par tām lietām, ko nedarīt ROTK filmas laikā jau bija) , esmu sākusi tās medīt.. te būs sākums...
Lord of the Rings Valentine's Day Cards
Legolas: "Mind if I stick my arrow in your quiver?"
Gimli: "We're all the same height lying down!"
Galadriel: "I know what it is you saw, for it is in my mind, too, ya pervy dwarf-fancier."
Sauron: "I only have eye for you!"
Gollum: "We wantss your precioussss..."
Gandalf: "You make me giddier than the halflings' weed!"
Elrond: "You make me feel like I'm two-thousand and fourteen again!"
Treebeard: "Hoom! Let me show you some real wood!"
Saruman: "Orthanc you (falettinme be mice elf agin)"
Theoden: "You put a spell on me!"
Arwen. No catchy saying, just... Arwen. *arghlrghlrghlrghl*
Frodo on phone: "Give me a ring sometime, will you?"
Balrog: "I burn for you."
Treebeard (to Orc): "I got a crush on you!"
Borimir: "What's this pain in my chest that I'm feeling? Is it my heart breaking? Oh...guess not..."

[Silmarien]

Top 10 ways the J.R.R. Tolkien books would be different if written by J.K. Rowling - Mark & Corina


10. Men would be called muggles.
9. Shelob is married to Aragog.
8. Smaug's name would be Norbert.
7. Fangorn Forest is full of whomping willows.
6. Moria is called Gringotts and instead of Moria goblins there are Gringotts goblins.
5. Gandalf has a distant cousin named Dumbledore.
4. Gollum would be shorter, have pointy ears, and strangely resemble a house elf.
3. Sauron has a staring contest with a Basilisk.
2. "…one sorcerer's stone to rule them all, one stone to find them, one stone to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them."

And the number one way Tolkien's books would be different if written by J.K. Rowling…

1. Sauron killed Frodo's parents.


Ten Things that Could Happen if the LotR and Harry Potter Scrips Got Mixed Up - Lothiriel


1. Gandalf says to Bilbo on his birthday, "It's not every day a hobbit turns eleventy-one."
2. They meet Tom Bombadil in the Forbidden Forest.

3. The Witch-King gives Frodo a jagged scar on his head rather than stabbing him with the Morgul blade.

4. Gandalf has to ride on a broomstick in order to catch the moth.

5. Instead of Ringwraiths, Dementors would chase Arwen and Frodo.

6. Before Gandalf tells Elrond about the Treason of Isengard, he says "There 're many things you should know, Elrond, the first of which; Not all wizards are good."

7. Frodo would see himself with his parents in the mirror of Galadriel.

8. Gandalf would fight a three-headed dog instead of a Balrog.

9. Before he demands the ring from Frodo, Boromir would take off his turban, revealing himself as a two-faced villain.

10. Lembas would be in the form of vomit-flavored jellybeans.

[Immortal]

es nesapratu shito teik. Will not threaten people I do not know just because they threaten Gimli who threatened them because they dissed Galadriel.
un Resist urge to go to the sea in middle of Large Dangerous battle in which I could be killed.
Resist urge to go to the sea in middle of Large Dangerous battle in which I could be killed.
un Find Merry and Pippin, trying hard not to engage in too many who can run faster/ for longer / with best style competitions with the Elf and Aragorn.
ja varat kaads iztulkojiet

[Silmarien]

Atradu veselu čupu ar LOTr listēm. slinkums man tās paŗkopēt te, tā kā rakājaties paši:
http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite....l%23maincontent

[morgion]

nu karoč visi ir prikoli...

[Nulukkizdin]

Tā, vēlējos jums parādīt dažas visai labas Gredzenu Pavēlnieka joku lapas... Enjoy!!!

1. FotR humor page

2. jokes from lotr...

3. ja esi lotr fans un vēlies piedzerties - lūdzu!!!

4. Patiesība par Tomu Bombadilu

5. jauki attēli ar vēl jaukākiem komentāriem..


..nu labi.. pagaidām pietiks...